Dear Son,

    I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you
can't read fast.  We don't live where we did when you left.  Your dad read in
the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won't be
able to send you...

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The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to twofinalists. One was a San Francisco State University graduate from an upper-crust family; well-bred, well-connected and all that goes with it.The other finalist was a redneck from Texas A & M.Go figure.

The rules of the...

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There were three boys all in third grade: an Asian boy, a Spanish boy and a redneck. They were trying to think of games to play at recess when the Asian boy got an idea. "I know," he said, "we can play, ‘Who's Got the Biggest Pee Pee’".

"How do you play that?" asked the redneck....

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Last name: ________________

First name (check appropriate box):


[_] Billy-Bob
[_] Bobby-Sue
[_] Billy-Joe
[_] Bobby-Jo
[_] Billy-Ray
[_] Bobby-Ann
[_] Billy-Sue
[_] Bobby-Lee
[_] Billy-Mae
[_] Bobby-Ellen
[_] Billy-Jack
[_]...

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ARKANSAS STATE RESIDENCY APPLICATION

Name: ________________(_) Billy-Bob (last)(_) Billy-Joe (_) Billy-Ray (_) Billy-Sue (_) Billy-Mae (_) Billy-Jack (_) Billy-Jefferson (Check appropriate box)

Age: ____ Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A

Shoe Size: ____ Left ____...

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Two women, one from the north and one from the south, are seated next to one another on a plane.

"Where you flyin' to?" says the southern woman. The northern woman turns up her nose.

"Don't you know you should NEVER end a sentence with a preposition?" The southern woman thinks about...

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Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly.The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends,Daryl and Gomer.The three men had always done everything together.

Daryl arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Daryl said,...

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All good Southerners already know these, but in fairnessto those Yankees who were dumb enough to stay down here:

1.Don't order a steak at a Waffle House. They serve breakfast 24 hrs a day, so let them cook something they know.

2.Don't laugh at people's names. Merleen, Bodie, Luther...

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Q: What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonalds on Friday night in Iowa?

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40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only
sixteen.
39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
38. Duct tape won't fix that.
37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the...

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