What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield?It's ass.
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A kid came home from school and asked his dad, "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a vagina. What is a vagina, and what does it look like?""Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose.""Wow, what does it look like after sex?""Well, son,...
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A man had a terrible passion for baked beans, but they always had a somewhat lively effect on him. After he met the woman of his dreams, he made the supreme sacrifice and gave them up; he couldn't imagine subjecting his new wife to his beastly emissions.On his birthday, his car broke down,...
A teacher decides that she is going to teach her second grade class a new word today. She tells them that the word is "definitely" and its meaning is "absolute, positive, without a doubt." She asks the class if anyone can think of a sentence with the word in it. She calls on little Susan...
Every year, Grandma and her grandkids, Suzy, Jill, and Billy come stay with her over Christmas.And every Christmas Eve they would make a big bowl of cookie dough so they could make cookies on Christmas Day. And every time, the next morning the cookie dough would be gone. The grandma could never...
A man woke up every morning and passed gas.After about eight or nine years of marriage, his wife finally said, if you fart any more, you'll fart your guts out.Being a butcher, the wife decided to put pig scraps in his pants so he would wake up, and not do it anymore.She put the scraps in his pants...
Ghost Poopie- The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.Clean Poopie- The kind where you pooped it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.Wet Poopie- The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and still feels...
A man was digging in his garden, when his shovel hit a hard object buried in the earth, which revealed itself to be an old bottle sealed with a cork. The man wrenched the cork free and, to his astonishment, there was a cloud of smoke and a clap of thunder. Standing before him was a genie....
A tourist has been visiting Cuba for a week.He is leaving the next day and he still hasn't tried the food. He goes to a restaurant and sits down to order and then sees what the man next to him has.It looks very tasty. The waiter comes to take his order and the tourist tells him he...
A little old lady goes into the Chase Manhattan Bank, and says she wants to open a savings account.The accounts person asks her how much she would like to deposit to open the account and the little old lady says, "Three million dollars." The accounts person is startled, and says, "In what...
Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the head on a man's penis islarger than the shaft.The study took two years and cost over $1.2 million.The study concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft was to provide the man with more pleasure...
